Resting your heart

It’s been a tumultuous eighteen months for this folksinger. If I could try to say something helpful for anyone else out there coping with grief and change, I would say that not every decision has to be made today. Things might look very bad on one day. Maybe that day, you give yourself a treat, and decide not to decide. Maybe, you keep things as simple as you can on that day. And, if you feel like you are worthless or that you have no place in the world, just put that thought on the shelf. It will jump up and down on your shoulder insisting to be heard, but just pick it up and put it on the shelf with your coffee mugs or your curios. And turn your back on that ugly thought. Get yourself a good book or a crossword puzzle or a bit of sewing or some pieces of wood with hammer and nails and give your brain a rest. And then your heart will get a rest, too. 

And the next day, maybe that ugly thought will have walked off due to boredom and inattention. If it’s still there, maybe it will taunt you, but just stick your tongue out at it or close the cupboard door on it. Be really kind to yourself instead. You don’t have to do anything big. Maybe you buy a new book or you let yourself try to draw a tree or you go to the movies. Just don’t push too hard or criticize yourself too much. Give yourself time.

I say this like it’s easy, like I am a pro at this. I’m not. Sometimes, I listen to that ugly thought about my worthlessness and end up in tears and the whole day gets drowned. But, that happens less and less the more I see it coming, the more I can gather up the strength to be easy, to be calm, and to rest my mind.

I only offer this up as a prayer and a wish for you and for us all. It’s not official advice or a substitution for talking with a professional whether that be a rabbi or a counselor or a doctor. I am thankful for the time that I’ve been able to talk with a counselor.  

I just want to let you know that I appreciate your encouragement and I send you strength, too.

LOVE, Jeni